What Should I Look for When Choosing a Therapist for Postpartum Mental Health Support?

You’re exhausted, googling at 2am while your baby finally sleeps, and you’ve typed in some version of “postpartum therapy near me” into the search bar for the third night in a row. The results load- a list of names, headshots, specialties… and then you close the tab, because you don’t even know what you’re supposed to be looking for. You also aren’t sure if it’s “that bad” to even need therapy.

Here’s the thing- you don’t have to be “that bad” or at rock bottom to start therapy. In fact, it’s preferably that you aren’t there yet, as then it will be easier for you to access support and feel better faster. For what to actually look for- here is what matters when you’re choosing someone to help you through this postpartum season.

Look for Specific Postpartum Experience, Not Just “Works with Women”

A lot of therapist bios say they work with women, moms, or “life transitions.” That’s not the same as someone who actually understands postpartum mental health. You want someone who can speak fluently about intrusive thoughts, the identity shift of matrescence, birth trauma, rage that surprises you, the heaviness of the mental load, and/or the specific loneliness of being touched out by 10am.

Another thing that shows up a lot, is a therapist that provides Individual, Family, and Couples Therapy along with a long list of different “problem” areas. Here’s the thing- the more modalities and more “problems” they work with, it’s not necessarily better. Think of someone like that as a generalist- kind of like your primary care doctor. They know a little about a lot of things and can help you with some basics, but when something is going on that requires more specialty- they refer you out. Just like you saw an OB during your pregnancy versus your primary care doctor. You want a therapist with the specialty of postpartum care.

Ask directly: “how much of your caseload is postpartum clients?” A therapist that works with this population won’t flinch at that question (and they won’t flinch at anything you tell them either).

Notice How They Talk About Symptoms

Pay attention to whether a therapist’s website or intake call treats postpartum struggles as something you’re doing wrong versus something that is happening to you. The right therapist frames rage, numbness, resentment, or scary thoughts as understandable responses to a nervous system in survival mode- not evidence that you’re failing or something is wrong with you. If the language feels shaming, performative, or like it’s selling you on being fixed, keep looking.

Ask What Their Actual Approach Looks Like

“I do talk therapy” tells you almost nothing. Ask what a session looks like and what types of therapies the therapist provides. If birth trauma is a part of your story, EMDR Therapy is a great modality to explore as talk therapy is often not enough to really process through trauma. A good therapist can explain their approach in plain language and give you a good idea of what therapy with them will be like.

Check the Logistics Before You Fall in Love with Someone’s Bio

This is unglamorous but it matters: does the therapist take your insurance? If not, are you willing to pay privately? If you want to use out of network benefits- will they provide you superbills and are you willing to submit those yourself? It’s important to be honest with yourself on what you can do. For some poeple going private pay is worth it for them to get the specialized care they want/need and for others, that is just not financially feasible. There is no right or worng here, just need to make sure you know what will work for you.

Another area to explore is virtual sessions vs. in-person. For most moms with a baby, in-person therapy can feel next to impossible either because they don’t have childcare, baby’s sleep schedule is all over the place, and/or feeding baby also makes it tricky to be away. You also want to understand their policy on having a baby present for sessions. For example- I let all my moms know that it’s totally okay for them to nurse or tend to baby during their session. While it is ideal for mom to have her own space and not have to tend to baby for therapy, if that is the only way mom can access therapy, I’m all for it. It may mean that certain types of therapy, such as EMDR therapy, may not be feasible, but mom can still get needed support.

Also, if you have limited time available, you’ll want to make sure that the therapist even works or is available during that time.

For moms in postpartum, accessibility is often one of the biggest barrier to getting care. Finding a therapist that understands this and is able to work with you is very important.

Pay Attention to the First Conversation

Most therapists offer a brief consultation call. Notice how you feel afterwards. Did you feel like you had to perform or could you be true and are meant with warmth and understanding? Did it feel like they “got you” and do you think you’ll feel comfortable talking to them? It’s okay to feel nervous and comfort often develops as you build on the relationship but you need to feel like you can get there. If it felt awkward and even off-putting, then that is something to listen to.

A Few Questions Worth Asking Directly

• Do you specialize in postpartum and perinatal mental health, or is it one part of a broader practice?

• Have you worked with birth trauma specfically?

• What does a typical course of treatment look like?

• Do you take my insurance? If not, can they provide a superbill?

• What’s your availability like?

• What frequency (weekly, every other week, etc.) do you recommend we meet?

• Are you okay if I have to tend to my baby during session?

Trust What Your Body Tells You, Too

You’ll likely know within the first session or two whether it’s a fit. If something feels off whether that is feeling rushed, cold, too clinical, or that they just don’t get it, it’s okay to try someone else. Finding the right therapist can take some time and sometimes you have to try several before you meet your match.

You don’t have to have the perfect words for what you’re feeling before you reach out. You also don’t have to know how the therapy process goes or what you’re “supposed” to do (that’s the therapist’s job). You just have to reach out.

Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.