5 Ways to Ask for Help as a New Mom (Without Feeling Guilty)

You Don’t Have to Do It All

If you’re a new mom, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “It takes a village.” But what if that “village” feels hard to find or harder to ask for?

So many moms struggle with guilt when it comes to asking for help. Maybe you worry about burdening others, or you think you should be able to handle everything on your own.

Here’s the truth: needing help doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you human.

Motherhood is not meant to be a solo act, and learning to ask for support is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mental and emotional well-being.

Here are five ways to ask for help as a new mom- without the guilt.

1. Start Small and Be Specific

People often want to help but don’t know how. Instead of saying, “Let me know if you can help,” try asking for something concrete:

• “Could you drop off a meal this week?”

• “Would you mind holding the baby while I shower?”

• “Could you walk the dog this afternoon?”

Specific requests make it easier for others to say yes and for you to receive support that truly helps.

2. Reframe What It Means to Receive Help

You might tell yourself, “Other moms do more,” or “I shouldn’t need this much help.”

But what if asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness- what if it was an act of strength?

When you allow others to support you, you model for your child what healthy interdependence looks like. You’re showing them that community, compassion, and connection matter.

3. Create a “Support List” Before You Need It

Write down who you can turn to for different kinds of support- emotional, practical, or professional.

• Emotional: A friend who listens without judgment, a therapist, a support group.

• Practical: Family members, neighbors, or postpartum doulas.

• Professional: Lactation consultants, maternal mental health therapists, or OB providers.

Having this list ready can make it easier to reach out in moments of stress or exhaustion because you’ve already done the emotional heavy lifting.

4. Use “Soft Starts” When Asking

If asking feels uncomfortable, start the conversation gently.

You might say:

• “I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed- could you help with ___?”

• “Would you have time to come by for an hour this week?”

• “I could use some support right now. Would you be open to helping with ___?”

You’re not demanding- you’re inviting someone to connect and care.

Therapist Insight: Most people want to help; they just need permission to step in and when they do get to support you, not only do they feel closer and more connected to you, they also feel better about themselves. So you could be doing them a favor. 😉

5. Remind Yourself: Everyone Needs Support

Even the strongest, most capable moms need help and that includes you.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re mothering yourself with the same care you give your child.

Receiving support allows you to rest, recover, and show up more fully in the moments that matter most.

You Deserve to Feel Supported

The early weeks of motherhood are intense- emotionally, physically, and mentally. You don’t have to prove your strength by doing it all alone.

When you ask for help, you create space for healing, connection, and joy.

And if you need a safe, judgment-free place to talk through the overwhelm, therapy can help.

👉 Reach out for a free consultation with Happy Moms Therapy to start building the emotional support and balance you deserve in new motherhood.

Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.

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