Scary Thoughts After Baby? What No One Tells You About Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts
You’re rocking your baby to sleep when, out of nowhere, a horrifying thought flashes through your mind. Maybe it’s an image of accidentally dropping them. Maybe it’s a thought so disturbing you don’t even want to repeat it out loud.
Your stomach drops.
Your heart races.
You wonder, “What is wrong with me?”
If this sounds familiar, please know this: You are not broken. You are not a bad mom. And you are absolutely not alone.
These terrifying, unwanted thoughts have a name- postpartum intrusive thoughts, and they’re far more common than most people realize. But because they’re so misunderstood (and so scary), many moms suffer in silence, filled with shame and fear.
Let’s talk about what no one tells you and why these thoughts do not mean you’re unsafe or unfit to be a mom.
What Are Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts?
Postpartum intrusive thoughts are unwanted, repetitive, and distressing thoughts or mental images that often center around harm coming to your baby or even you causing harm, despite having no desire or intention to do so.
They can sound like:
“What if I drop my baby down the stairs?”
“What if I lose control and smother them?”
“What if something terrible happens while I’m asleep?”
These thoughts usually feel graphic, disturbing, and completely out of character. They are ego-dystonic, which means they clash with your values and cause intense distress.
The thoughts themselves aren’t the problem- it’s how they make you feel. They can lead to:
Obsessive worrying
Constant checking or avoidance
Deep fear of being alone with your baby
Guilt, shame, and self-doubt
And here’s something that may surprise you: they are very common. But because most moms don’t talk about them, they think they’re the only one experiencing this.
The Overlooked Truth: It Might Be Postpartum OCD
While many new moms assume they’re just experiencing anxiety, what they’re actually dealing with could be Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder, that often flies under the radar.
Postpartum OCD is not the same as the stereotypical “neat freak” version of OCD we often see portrayed in media. It typically shows up as:
Obsessions: unwanted thoughts, images, or urges (like the ones described above)
Compulsions: mental or physical rituals to reduce anxiety (e.g., excessive checking, avoiding certain scenarios, repeating phrases in your head, seeking reassurance)
Unlike postpartum psychosis (which is extremely rare and includes delusions or hallucinations), moms with postpartum OCD know the thoughts aren’t real, and they find them deeply upsetting.
If you’ve been wondering:
“Is this anxiety or something more?”
“Why can’t I stop thinking about something bad happening?”
“Why do I feel like I can’t trust myself?”
You’re asking the right questions- and you deserve clear answers and support.
Why Do These Thoughts Happen? (It’s Not Just You- It’s Your Brain + Nervous System)
After giving birth, your body and brain undergo massive changes. Hormonal shifts, lack of sleep, and the overwhelming responsibility of keeping a tiny human alive can send your nervous system into overdrive.
If you’ve experienced trauma in your past, especially emotional neglect, perfectionism, or birth trauma, your brain may be especially prone to scanning for danger. These intrusive thoughts are often your brain’s misguided attempt to protect what you love most.
In other words: your system is doing too much, not because you’re unsafe, but because you care deeply.
Still, that doesn’t mean you have to live like this. There’s support- and it works.
When to Reach Out for Help
If these thoughts are:
Constantly popping up and feel hard to ignore
Interfering with bonding or daily functioning
Making you fear being alone with your baby
Leading to compulsive behaviors or intense guilt
…it’s time to reach out. Not because you’re failing- but because you deserve to feel safe and supported.
Therapy can help you understand what’s happening, gently challenge the thoughts, and build tools to soothe your nervous system and regain a sense of calm.
How Therapy Helps: The Happy Moms Therapy Approach
At Happy Moms Therapy, I help new moms navigate postpartum intrusive thoughts with a unique blend of:
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to shift unhelpful thought patterns
EMDR Therapy to process trauma and desensitize the power of distressing thoughts
Brain-body work to regulate your nervous system and move from fear to safety
You’ll learn how to relate to your thoughts differently, build trust in yourself, and reclaim your inner sense of calm. Most importantly, you’ll stop living in fear of your own mind.
You’re Not a Bad Mom- You’re a Good Mom Having a Hard Time
These thoughts are not your fault.
They don’t define you.
And with the right support, they can get so much better.
You deserve to feel connected to your baby and at peace in your own mind. Therapy can help you get there- gently, compassionately, and at your pace.
Let’s Work Through This Together
If you’re experiencing scary thoughts after having a baby, please know you don’t have to carry this alone.
🌿 Schedule a free 20-minute consultation to learn how therapy can support you.
🌿 Or contact me with any questions- I’m here to help you feel safe, understood, and whole again.
Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.
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