Why Self-Care in Motherhood Isn’t Selfish (It’s Survival)
Moms are often told to “take care of themselves,” but in the same breath, society piles on impossible expectations: be the perfect parent, the perfect partner, keep the home running, excel at work, stay patient, stay grateful.
No wonder so many mothers roll their eyes when they hear the phrase self-care. It can feel like just another item on the never-ending to-do list. But here’s the truth: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s survival.
The System Is Set Up Against Moms
We live in a culture that glorifies “supermoms” while offering very little real support. Lack of paid parental leave, unequal division of household labor, and the unspoken expectation that moms should sacrifice everything for their families- these are not personal failings. They are systemic issues rooted in patriarchy.
When you feel exhausted, resentful, or burned out, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re carrying a load that no one person was ever meant to carry alone.
Why Self-Care Is an Act of Resistance
Caring for yourself in motherhood isn’t indulgence- it’s rebellion against a culture that tells women their needs don’t matter. Every time you rest, set a boundary, or ask for help, you’re pushing back against the idea that mothers should disappear into their role.
Self-care is how you sustain yourself, protect your mental health, and show your children that all people deserve dignity and rest- including moms.
Practical Self-Regulation Strategies
Self-care doesn’t have to mean spa days or elaborate routines. Sometimes it looks like 60 seconds of reclaiming your nervous system:
Grounding breath: Place a hand on your chest, inhale for four counts, exhale for six.
Sensory reset: Step outside, feel your feet on the ground, notice what you see and hear.
Micro-boundaries: Say no to one thing today that drains you. Yes, even if it’s just skipping dishes for an hour.
These small acts send a message to your brain: I am safe, I am allowed to rest, I am allowed to take up space.
You Deserve Care, Too
You don’t have to earn rest or joy. Taking care of yourself is not optional; it’s how you survive and thrive in motherhood. And when you show yourself compassion, you’re not only healing yourself- you’re modeling resilience and self-respect for your child.
💛 If motherhood feels overwhelming and self-care feels out of reach, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out here to explore therapy support for moms in San Diego and throughout California.
Disclaimer: This is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or mental health services. This is for educational purposes only and should be in used only in conjunction in working with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in California and looking for a professional therapist feel free to use the contact me to request an appointment or search Psychology Today for local therapists in your area.
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